This week’s prompt from Tara at Sticky Fingers was Motherhood.
It’s a funny one for me because being a mother is the most important thing in my life, but I don’t really think of myself as a mother. I don’t feel like a mother – I don’t feel grown-up enough. Me and David still sometimes talk about how mad it is that we’re allowed to bring up two little people. Us!
Anyway. The first photograph that popped into my mind was this one of me and Joe:
Harry’s birth was so incredibly traumatic and I don’t really have any good memories of that day at all (I spent most of the day unconscious with an infection while David gazed at Harry sleeping in his Perspex cot). Joe’s birth was completely different. It was by caesarean for a start, but then it was all just lovely. When I think about it, I think of me lying there, gazing at Joe’s cross, scrunched, little face. I’ll never forget it, but I’m so glad I’ve got a photograph of it.
Obviously I can’t have Joe without Harry and this picture reminds me of our favourite holiday. I was pregnant with Joe and we went to Norfolk for a week and had a proper, old-fashioned, family holiday. I can’t look at this photo without smiling. It makes me want to take off for the seaside immediately.
I’d guess Leanne’s about 18 months here, which makes me about 3, which makes Mum 36, i.e. younger than I am now. That seems really odd to me. I was the same age when I had Harry as Mum was when she had me, but Mum always seemed like a grown-up to me, whereas, like I said above, I feel like a big kid. I wonder if Harry’s going to see me as a grown-up. I sincerely doubt it.