The 15 books comp will take a little while to find a winner because I need to make a spreadsheet – a spreadsheet! – for all the entries.
The iPod Touch competition has a shortlist of five entries and now it’s your job to select a winner. Yes, yours! I’ve posted all five confessions/diary entries below and I’d like you to vote for the one you like the best.
But I’m not asking you to do it for nothing, oh no. What I’d like you to do is to leave your own embarrassing moments in the comments and, at the end of the week (once the voting has closed) I’ll send a signed copy of my book to the author of the one that makes me laugh the most.
So here are the embarrassing confessions:
I was going to my local electrical retailer to purchase a DVD recorder. I had had lengthy discussions over the telephone with the sales advisors, named Ron and Andy. I went into the store only having spoken to these gentlemen on the phone. Trying to be cool, I approached a salesman in the shop, got a bit flustered and said, “Are you randy?!!!!”
The most embarrassing thing that happened to me was walking in on my parents having sex. Then a couple weeks later I found a pregnancy test in the bathroom cupboard. It wasnt mine and it wasn’t my sister’s so we knew it was our mum’s. My mum told me that she was pregnant a few weeks after and I had to pretend I didn’t know.
I used to be a Saturday girl in a well known high street chemists. One day whilst working on the pharmacy counter a short angry man marched into the store and threw a packet of condoms at me and said “They’re too short!” I nearly died on the spot and tried to overt my gaze from his nether regions. Flabbergasted but well trained by the store I mumbled “I’m really sorry to hear that, they are well tested…and um, well…” The man looked at me with total disgust and said “No you silly girl, it’s a pack of three and when I opened it there was only one inside!!!”
I had the worst news ever today. Darren has now officially got a girlfriend and it’s not me. The guy that I have been crushing for almost 3 years is taken, by the most popular girl in school. Perfect match I guess, kinda predictable the most popular guy and gal together, no biggy. Except the gorgeous floppy hair and cutesy smile that melts my insides, should be with me. Except he’s not…so what do I do now? Guess I’ll just have to watch and wait but I have done for so long, we would be perfect together.
YES! I am so happy, he has split up with her (finally!) claiming she is not his type, maybe I finally have a chance! Oh what do I do now? Pounce on him as a rebound? Or casually become friends and then more. Mission: Get The Boyfriend is on, starting today.
I once asked the ice cream man that was parked up at our local beauty spot if I could have a 69 instead of saying 99. He gave me a big wink and said, “Meet me at the back of the van in 10 minutes love and I’ll see what I can do.” I nearly died of embarrassment.
Now let’s hear yours… 🙂