My dad…

… died on Tuesday night.

It feels a bit strange writing about this here, but at the same time, how could I not write about it?

We knew it was coming. He’d been ill for a while, although it still seems sudden. Maybe it always seems sudden.

We also knew it was what he wanted. His quality of life had been deteriorating for a while. (I got upset yesterday thinking I’ll never again hear him whistling – he was a good whistler – but then I can’t remember the last time I heard him whistling.) He had Parkinson’s Disease and associated dementia and we know that he would never have wanted to go into a nursing home, which is where he would have had to go if he’d been able to come out of hospital. He knew that too. Which is, we assume, why he stopped eating and drinking and refused his medication (even repeatedly pulling a drip out of his arm).

Me and my sister were with him when he died, which was horrible, of course, but I’m glad we were there.

I’ll miss him.

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68 thoughts on “My dad…

  1. Keris I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you can find some comfort in the fact that it was what he wanted, and try and think of your happy memories more than recent events. It must be so hard.

    Thinking of you all

    Rebecca

    1. Thanks, Kirsty. And I didn’t get a chance to say on Twitter, but thanks for saying you would’ve driven me too. (That would’ve been an odd way to finally meet.) x

  2. I know that mere words can’t help right now, but I hope the knowledge that your friends are all thinking of you, sending you and your family lots of love and hugs makes it a little easier.

    This is one of the times I wish I wasn’t so far away and that I could give you an actual hug xxx

  3. I’m so sorry you’ve lost your beloved father, Keris, and that he had to have a period of suffering but I am so glad you were with him when he died and I’m sure it will have helped and comforted him.
    It’s good that you have such a lovely photo of him looking out at you. I found that photos of my dad have helped me a lot in the last 2 years.
    Take care xx

    1. Thanks, Rachel. I couldn’t look at photos of my mum after she died, but I’ve been seeking out photos of my dad. I’m sorry to hear you’ve lost your dad too. x

  4. I am sorry. I know it probably seems cold comfort now, but having had the chance to say goodbye is such a blessing. Losing a parent is so hard. Much love.

  5. I’m so sorry for your loss, but I hope writing about it helps at least a little. I’m thinking of you and sending much love. xxx

  6. Keris, it’s so sad when we lose our Dad – we think they’re so indestructible, don’t we? Like yours, my dad was a fabulous and enthusiastic whistler, it was only when you mentioned it that I realised it’s something I now catch myself doing and remembering. Hoping that good memories start to fill up the empty gap and thinking of you. All love, D x

    1. That’s one of the things I can’t quite believe, Debs. My dad was never ill until he turned 70 and then all sorts of things went wrong. I find myself thinking of him how he was before and wondering how this could have happened when it’s actually been coming for seven years. Thank you x

  7. You have me in tears.
    I can totally understand your father not wanting to carry on like that. My mum had dementia and it was horrible for all of us.
    Thank you for sharing this with us.
    I f you need anything from Wales you just let me know.
    I was glad I was with my mum at the end too – many hugs

  8. Keris
    Am so, so sorry. My mum died when I was 23, very suddenly, and I think I do know a little of what you’re goning through. Am so glad you were able to be there.
    Sending big hugs.

  9. I will admit to shedding a few tears over this sad news, Keris. Your dad was awesome and full of so much fun and laughter. That’s how I’ll always remember him. May your happy memories of the fun times see you through this difficult time. Love and hugs, Ang xxx

    1. Thanks, Ang. I forget that some people online knew him in real life too. As soon as I read your comment, I remembered us all coming up to Barrhead for a visit and Dad posing us all on the sofa for endless photos 🙂

  10. Keris, I’m so sorry. Sending you and your family lots of love.

    It’s awful any time, but it seems much more so at this time of the year. My mother in law died on 28th December, a long time ago now.

    We’re thinking of you. Cxxxxx

  11. We are so, so sorry Keris and Leanne to hear your sad loss. We have many happy memories of past times – your dad was a great guy. Love to you and all your family, Doreen and Dennis Franks

  12. I’m so sorry Keris. Jeff and I both send our condolences, sympathy and love. I’ve never had a dad so I envy the time and memories you’ve shared with us. I hope when you think of him all you’ll remember will be fond. *cyber hug and lasagna*

  13. So sorry to hear this news, Keris, at a time when I know you’re not strong. Even when death is expected, it’s still unexpected in a lot of ways and it’s impossible to know how we’ll react. Be kind to yourself and remember his as he used to be. Thinking of you xxx

  14. Oh, Keris, I’ve only just seen this – I’m so sorry: there’s absolutely nothing anyone can say at a time like this, but I’m thinking about you x

    1. Thanks, Alex. I love the photo too. (I have a photo of him in the bath – I didn’t take it! – wearing a cowboy hat and reading Playboy. Wanted to post that one, but couldn’t find it.

  15. I am so sorry for you, your family and your dad. It’s always hard when we lose someone we love. I really do believe there is a better place and I’m sure your dad id there now.

  16. So sorry to read of your loss Keris. I have always thought you are a very special lady, your dad did an amazing job, how proud must he have been to have helped raise a daughter like you? And what a picture. Much love. xx

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