My first book nightmare

I actually had a bad dream about a book. No, it wasn’t chasing me and terrorising me with paper cuts – it was meant to be my new book, but it wasn’t Jessie ♥ NYC, it was non-fiction about feminism… apparently.

First I took it out of the postbag (?) and although it was meant to be hardback it wasn’t and it had got wet in transit so I was annoyed right from the start. Then I started looking through it and there were blurby quotes at the front. One from my father-in-law that made no sense (and spelled “derides” wrong), one from David in which he’d referred to an E.R.C. instead of an ARC.

Then there were comments from Lemmy and various other metal type people whose names I don’t remember (I just remember their hair) at which point I noticed there was an index to the reviews and some of them were “sponsored” so while Lemmy’s comment in the front of MY book looked like it referred to MY book, it was actually about HIS new album. And then there was one from David Tennant. That one said: “Half lipstick, half my mother.” What does that even mean, Tennant?!

Then I started looking through it and found that halfway through the text was a sort of catalogue – pages and pages of photos of clothes and an ordering form.

Oh and the title was EXCLUSIVE and the cover had a pencil drawing of a horse on it.

It was such a catastrophe that I didn’t know where to begin in fixing it. But then David woke me up so I didn’t have to. I didn’t need or want to get up at 7am today (the boys aren’t here), but I have to say, it was a relief.

Anyone else have any writing-related anxiety dreams? Or should I just not eat Rolos before bed?

{Photo: Book Bed, Designed by Yusuke Suzuki}


15 thoughts on “My first book nightmare

  1. Gosh your dream makes me feel quite anxious. I can really relate to it (though the David Tennant thing? Who knows what that man is really saying?) My first book has taken a while to get to publishing stage and the pub date been delayed a couple of times so it’s been frustrating. Finally a few weeks ago my publisher said they had sent some proofs in the post and I was so excited! I spent the weekend having recurring dreams that the book was through the letterbox but I just couldn’t reach it! I woke up in a sweat every morning.
    I love Rolos – straight from the fridge so the caramel is yielding yet at the same time slightly challenging. Yum! x

    1. Yes to fridge Rolos! As I ate them I was thinking I should’ve put them in the fridge, that way you can bite the bottoms off them in one piece? But I was too lazy/greedy to actually go and put them in the fridge.

  2. Funnily enough, last week I bought ‘The Little Book of Dreams’ (half price at Blackwells) but it doesn’t cover any as complex as this. Except to say, blanket-fashion, ‘dreams are a product of our own subconscious’ – which is such a cop out and probably SO untrue! Thanks for cheering me up today! xxx

    1. I think dreams are a sorting thing, aren’t they? Like your life flashing before your eyes when you have a near death experience? I could probably work out most of this one. Not sure about the David Tennant bit though…

  3. Crikey, convoluted or what? I’m pretty impressed that you remember such detail, and so sad that all David Tennant did in your dream was make a comment (albeit bizarre) – I shan’t tell you what he gets up to in MINE!

  4. Oh, this was so funny. I’m sure none of that will happen, although sponsored blurbs may be the way of the future (eek). Definitely don’t sacrifice the Rolos!

    1. It was the catalogue I was more concerned about (in the dream). My response was “Well. I should’ve known this day would come…” 😉

  5. Interesting that the cover was a horse drawn in pencil. Did you draw this by chance? Perhaps you should draw it for your drawing challenge.

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