Story of my life (right now)

This poem – found via Blue Milk – sums up my life right now (only replace the cooking with washing dishes – our kitchen sink is like the pot that wouldn’t stop).

Honestly, every day I start with the best intentions and at the end of the day find I’ve achieved almost precisely nothing and this is why. (Of course, I have the added distraction of The Bermuda Triangle of Productivity, but even so. It’s mostly the kids. It is. Shut up, it is.)

If You Give a Mom a Muffin
By Beth Brubaker

If you give a mom a muffin,
she’ll want a cup of coffee to go with it.
She’ll pour herself some.
Her three year-old will come and spill the coffee.
Mom will wipe it up.
Wiping the floor, she will find dirty socks.
She’ll remember she has to do laundry.
When she puts the laundry into the washer,
she’ll trip over shoes and bump into the freezer.
Bumping into the freezer will remind her she has to plan supper.
She will get out a pound of hamburger.
She’ll look for her cookbook
(How to Make 101 Things With a Pound of Hamburger.)
The cookbook is sitting under a pile of mail.
She will see the phone bill, which is due tomorrow.
She will look for her checkbook.
The checkbook is in her purse,
which is being dumped out by her two year-old.
Then she’ll smell something funny.
She’ll change the two year-old.
While she is changing the two year-old, the phone will ring.
Her five year-old will answer and hang up.
She’ll remember she was supposed to phone a friend
to come over for coffee.
Thinking of coffee will remind her that she was going to have a cup.
She will pour herself some more.
And chances are,
if she has a cup a coffee,
her kids will have eaten the muffin that went with it.


5 thoughts on “Story of my life (right now)

    1. Ha! That’s how I think of it too. And you’re right, it was just the same before kids – although at least I still had my muffin (not a euphemism!).

      1. Yeah, if you turn your back on a muffin or cookie here it might end up in the dog’s mouth, or dragged away by the cat (true story–caught our feral cat dragging away a large cookie off my tv-table last year). Anything at eye level is game. We set up watch when getting ready for supper. One watches the table while the other passes stuff. That is probably too much info.

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