The day the internet went down…

So the internet went down. I refreshed it. I refreshed it again. And again. And again. [Repeat beyond all reason.] I tried to log out and back in, but my details weren’t showing. I turned it off and on again. I refreshed it. [Repeat until you realise you’re a total idiot. Then repeat some more.] I went to bed.

In the morning, it still wasn’t back. I’d learned my lesson, I only refreshed it, logged on and off again and plugged it in and out once before ringing Virgin to see if there was a problem. See, I’ve made that mistake before – blamed David for breaking the internet before ringing and learning there’s a technical fault in my area. “There’ll be a technical fault!” I told the kids, who were sweating a bit, having woken up in a terrible dystopian wi-fi-free world. “They don’t usually last long!”

I rang. There was no message about a fault. I spoke to a woman who tested the line. And then suggested I unplug the modem and try it in another socket. Nothing. And then she said I needed a new modem. And it’ll be “three to four days.” I hung up the phone, my hands shaking. I told the children – they both shrieked.

“I need to check my moshlings,” Harry said moments later, heading for the computer.

“No wi-fi,” I said.

“Oh yes.” He sat back down.

For the past week, I’ve been writing 750 words every morning on a site called I opened it. Obviously nothing happened. I sighed heavily and opened a blank document instead.

“There’s no wi-fi on the iPad!” Joe shrieked.

“There’s no wi-fi anywhere,” I replied.

“Oh COME ON!” Joe yelled.

Next on my daily To Do list is exercise. I alternate between Nia and Yoga videos. They’re both online. Joe and I had a Take That dance party instead. (Harry was still weeping over the fate of his moshlings.)

I started reading a new book and headed to the computer to add it to Goodreads…

I got a text message about Joe’s preschool fees and attempted to access online banking to confirm when I’d last paid…

Joe spotted a lottery ticket and asked me to check if we’d won…

I could see Facebook on my phone and some friends were arranging a Christmas party, but my calendar is online and doesn’t sync with my phone…

“Ooh!” I thought. “At least I’ll be able to catch up on some TV!” Except everything I want to watch is on Netflix or needs a VPN…

I started making a list titled When The Internet Comes Back.

Harry and I talked the other day about how COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS it is that the internet didn’t exist when I was his age. How there are a lot of things that have changed a lot during my lifetime (cameras always spring to mind, particularly video cameras – my uncle hired one for a party in the 80s and it was like a TV camera – he had to rest it on his shoulder and it came with a separate mic on a stick), but the internet has gone from nothing to pretty much everything in less than 40 years. Unbelievable.

I also joke (“joke”) about how my entire life is online, but I was shocked by how much of my day-to-day stuff requires the internet.

After lunch, I unplugged the modem, blew some dust off it and plugged it back in. It was working again. We were all extremely relieved. 


8 thoughts on “The day the internet went down…

  1. Oh I had to laugh at this post! I could see myself being at my wit’s end too if my wifi broke down. So while I did laugh I was also picturing what 3-4 days without would feel like and slowly dying inside!

    Glad everything’s sorted though!

  2. I smiled…but I would have panicked too. I do most of my work for online clients, so how would I send it, upload it, even research it without the Internet? I remember when I moved back to Ipswich in 2008, I set it all up so that my broadband was ready when I moved in.So, moving house 3 days after a 22 hour flight from Australia didn’t make my cry. Leaving my husband didn’t make me cry. Falling out with my best friend of 15 years didn’t make me cry. Sheer exhaustion didn’t make me cry. Not having broadband and being told I’d have to wait for a week? Now THAT made me cry…

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