December 2005: Happy now?

Can anyone actually listen to Starmaker by the Kids From Fame without crying? I know I can’t. And my sister can’t. And after the Fame documentary a couple of years ago, Dominik Diamond admitted he can’t either.

What is it about it? The lyrics:

fameHere as I watch the ships go by
I’m rooted to my shore
I keep asking myself why
And if there’s more on the other side
Here as I see the friends I thought I made
A little bit crazed and knowing now
We’ve outgrown one another
Now when I see the things I want
I can take the things I see
But I keep asking myself why
And if there ain’t just a little bit more for me
Here when it’s time to count the cost
I keep measuring what I’ve lost
And wondering if you knew
It would all wind up with you

Here as I watch the time go by
How I’d like to sail away
Leaving all my past behind
But I know I’d only last for a couple of days
Here stands everything I thought I made
It’s the only life I know
And I can’t even call it my own
I’ve got no home, I belong to you

It could be because when Fame was on I was so young and it was all ahead of me and I thought my future would be about great things and excitement and adventure and .. and ..

.. and there has been. Just not quite like I thought. I’ve never danced on top of a taxi in New York, for example. Or it could be that it makes me think of the past I’ve left behind and all the mistakes I’ve made. But that should make me happy because I have learned from them (I hope).

Maybe it’s just because I wanted to be Coco (even though I was more of a Doris) and I now realise I’m not (either) and probably never will be.

Yeah, it could be that.